Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Rock Obama
One more Miss Tif story: Child asks, is Rock Obama on this world? Miss Tif says, yes he is. Child says he thought Rock was dead. Another child says no, that was Michael Jackson. Child asks again if Rock is on this world, and if we get news about him. Miss Tif says, yes we do. Why, he asks, do we only get news from THIS world?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The journey
The other day, Jennifer D. told me she had always admired my relationship with you, and what a great kid you'd turned out to be. I told her that your dad and I would like to take credit, but that in fact, you are who you are and the real trick of parenting is to allow your child to become what he needs to be. I hope that we've done that, that we haven't pressured you too much and that we haven't let you loose without a foundation to build on. I have great faith in you and your abilities, but I'm always filled with self-doubt. That's the way parenting is.
Speaking of which, Lori D. is in a sad and diffcult place now with K. She can't trust anything he says. She asked to talk to Dad the other day for advice. K came home around 1 a.m. all bloodied and bruised and said he'd been "jumped." He apparently went with a friend to retrieve some ill-gotten funds for the sale of dope. When they got there, some people came out whomping and K pulled a knife. What was he thinking?
At any rate, he thought he'd nicked someone, but there was talk that the police were looking for him and that he'd be charged with attempted murder because someone had been hospitalized with serious knife wounds. Dad advised that they dress up and get down to the police station to talk to someone there and find out the facts of the situation.
As it turns out, there's no warrant for K's arrest and he was allowed to leave a written statement, in case. I think he lucked out. Really lucked out. This is serious business.
He's been lying about going to school and what he's turned in. This is so unfortunate since he's been given this second chance to graduate, and he really doesn't have much to finish before he could go to SLCC.
Drugs can do strange and curious things to people. They can make them lie, or unable to discern a lie from the truth. The thirst for money can do the same thing. There are no shortcuts in life. That's good because it's the journey that makes life interesting and meaningful.
This is what I wish for you - an interesting and meaningful life.
Speaking of which, Lori D. is in a sad and diffcult place now with K. She can't trust anything he says. She asked to talk to Dad the other day for advice. K came home around 1 a.m. all bloodied and bruised and said he'd been "jumped." He apparently went with a friend to retrieve some ill-gotten funds for the sale of dope. When they got there, some people came out whomping and K pulled a knife. What was he thinking?
At any rate, he thought he'd nicked someone, but there was talk that the police were looking for him and that he'd be charged with attempted murder because someone had been hospitalized with serious knife wounds. Dad advised that they dress up and get down to the police station to talk to someone there and find out the facts of the situation.
As it turns out, there's no warrant for K's arrest and he was allowed to leave a written statement, in case. I think he lucked out. Really lucked out. This is serious business.
He's been lying about going to school and what he's turned in. This is so unfortunate since he's been given this second chance to graduate, and he really doesn't have much to finish before he could go to SLCC.
Drugs can do strange and curious things to people. They can make them lie, or unable to discern a lie from the truth. The thirst for money can do the same thing. There are no shortcuts in life. That's good because it's the journey that makes life interesting and meaningful.
This is what I wish for you - an interesting and meaningful life.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Oh that George
You have to know your dad to really appreciate him. I say this knowing that I never can fully understand him, and that's probably exactly what he wants. As you know, we ended up in the hospital partly because of his stubbornness. Back injuries are nothing to sniff at. They're quite disabling and very disorienting.
At any rate, Dad started to improve once he got some pain meds and some food. Indeed, he'd been in bed for two days without eating anything, and that's enough to throw anyone into the ozone.
But today, the day he was to be released, he seemed a little slower than the day before. Perhaps a little more pain as the meds wore off. At any rate, just imagine who teams of doctors - medical and psychiatric - coming in and asking him the same questions over and over again. What day is it, who's the president ... stuff like that.
Well, your dad is not one to give anyone straight answers when a circuitous route is easier and more fun. He kind of lets his brain take him where it may - a stream of consciousness for everyone to experience. I had to stop him a couple of times when he went off into the "I've had a back problem since 1956!" Or "I did plenty of exercise for 46 years." arghhh.
The doctors were especially keen on his brief, albeit colorful, hallucinations. The rainbow spiders, which Lori D. has labeled as significantly symbolic of the gay movement. ;-)
Just when I'm about to tell them to give it a rest, George launches into a story about having an MRI at midnight the night before. He has been quite interested in his roommate's condition (a very heavy man with cancer, who apparently has no family), and he told the docs that the guy refused to have his MRI and so the technicians asked Dad if he wanted to take his place.
This is, well, highly unusual for a medical facility. But maybe not. The docs began looking knowingly at one another, kind of rolling their eyes and wink-winking. Oh sure, you have an MRI at midnight. Right. Nothing in the charts, though.
I was just about convinced myself, until about an hour later when the head doctor came in sheepishly to say, well Mr. H, you did indeed have an MRI at midnight last night. They'd just forgotten to chart it.
Well, that was nothing compared to Dad's next story about getting a flu shot that also wasn't charted. This time, they had to believe him. No one wants to get two flu shots in one day.
He did worry me a little when he focused on the clock and said he saw the second hand filling up, like a mercury thermometer. But we were way ready to get out of there, so off we went.
He's been pretty tired tonight, but we're getting back on track. Despite not wanting to eat dinner at first, he finally did. He's been walking around a little and we're set for The Big Program tomorrow. And he is really motivated to get up and going for Game Weekend! Of course.
Tomorrow would also be the day I have told Indrani's mom and dad that I'd take their new Alaskan Malamute, Tuva, for the day. I think you know that Indrani's mom had a bone marrow transplant, and they're just in need of a little help with the puppy.
Yes I know - that will be FIVE. I think I should start a business.
At any rate, Dad started to improve once he got some pain meds and some food. Indeed, he'd been in bed for two days without eating anything, and that's enough to throw anyone into the ozone.
But today, the day he was to be released, he seemed a little slower than the day before. Perhaps a little more pain as the meds wore off. At any rate, just imagine who teams of doctors - medical and psychiatric - coming in and asking him the same questions over and over again. What day is it, who's the president ... stuff like that.
Well, your dad is not one to give anyone straight answers when a circuitous route is easier and more fun. He kind of lets his brain take him where it may - a stream of consciousness for everyone to experience. I had to stop him a couple of times when he went off into the "I've had a back problem since 1956!" Or "I did plenty of exercise for 46 years." arghhh.
The doctors were especially keen on his brief, albeit colorful, hallucinations. The rainbow spiders, which Lori D. has labeled as significantly symbolic of the gay movement. ;-)
Just when I'm about to tell them to give it a rest, George launches into a story about having an MRI at midnight the night before. He has been quite interested in his roommate's condition (a very heavy man with cancer, who apparently has no family), and he told the docs that the guy refused to have his MRI and so the technicians asked Dad if he wanted to take his place.
This is, well, highly unusual for a medical facility. But maybe not. The docs began looking knowingly at one another, kind of rolling their eyes and wink-winking. Oh sure, you have an MRI at midnight. Right. Nothing in the charts, though.
I was just about convinced myself, until about an hour later when the head doctor came in sheepishly to say, well Mr. H, you did indeed have an MRI at midnight last night. They'd just forgotten to chart it.
Well, that was nothing compared to Dad's next story about getting a flu shot that also wasn't charted. This time, they had to believe him. No one wants to get two flu shots in one day.
He did worry me a little when he focused on the clock and said he saw the second hand filling up, like a mercury thermometer. But we were way ready to get out of there, so off we went.
He's been pretty tired tonight, but we're getting back on track. Despite not wanting to eat dinner at first, he finally did. He's been walking around a little and we're set for The Big Program tomorrow. And he is really motivated to get up and going for Game Weekend! Of course.
Tomorrow would also be the day I have told Indrani's mom and dad that I'd take their new Alaskan Malamute, Tuva, for the day. I think you know that Indrani's mom had a bone marrow transplant, and they're just in need of a little help with the puppy.
Yes I know - that will be FIVE. I think I should start a business.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Aftermath
Today, we were all suffering the effects of Halloween — too much candy! Tiffany had a stomach ache all day and I'm just trying to figure out how to stay away from the leftovers. Anne P came over for awhile today and I helped her pick out photos for a slide presentation on her new book. She should really be quite proud of all the work she put into it - since 2004! So all day after that, I wondered whether I would have the focus and drive to finish a book. Of course, I once wondered if I'd have the focus and drive to finish a long-form news article. I guess it all comes when you're ready for it.
I am still proud of your focus both on your studies and on your art — the piano. You definitely have the gift of concentration. Which brings me to your recent dissatisfaction with your studies. I could try to advise you, but I can see that you're developing some good judgment skills. We can talk about your progress and what you're gaining from Missouri as we go along. The good thing about avoiding hasty decisions is that it recognizes how things change. They can, of course, change for better or worse, and you should be able to tell.
Don't force things, though. If your path isn't obvious, then give it time.
I still can't believe you are almost 19! How did this happen? I guess it happened one year at a time - slowly, steadily. And here you are.
I am still proud of your focus both on your studies and on your art — the piano. You definitely have the gift of concentration. Which brings me to your recent dissatisfaction with your studies. I could try to advise you, but I can see that you're developing some good judgment skills. We can talk about your progress and what you're gaining from Missouri as we go along. The good thing about avoiding hasty decisions is that it recognizes how things change. They can, of course, change for better or worse, and you should be able to tell.
Don't force things, though. If your path isn't obvious, then give it time.
I still can't believe you are almost 19! How did this happen? I guess it happened one year at a time - slowly, steadily. And here you are.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Fee fi fo Phi Beta Kappa
Dad and I took Kathy and John She...er to dinner at the club tonight. We had a great time - except for the getting ready part. I think you know what I mean. At one point, I told Dad that when you were very young, you learned that it was no fun to wait until the last minute to do things. Too stressful. I'd been telling him all day to get his clothes out, to start getting ready, blah blah blah. But of course, he didn't start until about 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave. Thus, he was half-dressed when we got to the club, and fit to be tied. Nonetheless, he somehow got himself put together, we went in and actually had a great time. Even he admitted it.
The talk, of course, was about our boys. Craig apparently has joined a fraternity. Kathy noted that he's not as outgoing as you, and really needed the support group. He has to get dressed up in tie and coat once a week for the fraternity dinner. I said that right now, you weren't of a mind to join. Everyone is different and we all have to find our support groups, wherever they may be. I think you've always been good at finding people and making friends. That's a gift, for sure.
I was painfully shy when I was younger - go figure. For me, it took smaller groups to push me along. As I've grown, I find that my small group has developed smaller ones, and many of them are intertwined. That's life, I guess.
I went to the foot doc today, and he pronounced me able to wear a real shoe on my right foot. This was a breakthrough, and so I took the dogs on a walk in celebration. It was a beautiful fall day, although still incredibly cold for October.
Tiffany and I have decided not to open any more bags of candy before Halloween, lest we eat it all up. Are there Halloween plans at Mizzou?
Well, Charley at least has closed his eyes - it's a miracle! And I think that signals that it's time for me to go to bed, too. Love you!
The talk, of course, was about our boys. Craig apparently has joined a fraternity. Kathy noted that he's not as outgoing as you, and really needed the support group. He has to get dressed up in tie and coat once a week for the fraternity dinner. I said that right now, you weren't of a mind to join. Everyone is different and we all have to find our support groups, wherever they may be. I think you've always been good at finding people and making friends. That's a gift, for sure.
I was painfully shy when I was younger - go figure. For me, it took smaller groups to push me along. As I've grown, I find that my small group has developed smaller ones, and many of them are intertwined. That's life, I guess.
I went to the foot doc today, and he pronounced me able to wear a real shoe on my right foot. This was a breakthrough, and so I took the dogs on a walk in celebration. It was a beautiful fall day, although still incredibly cold for October.
Tiffany and I have decided not to open any more bags of candy before Halloween, lest we eat it all up. Are there Halloween plans at Mizzou?
Well, Charley at least has closed his eyes - it's a miracle! And I think that signals that it's time for me to go to bed, too. Love you!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
So much for the tomatoes
It's probably below freezing now. It's been damned cold, is all I can say. No easing us into winter this year, although we always hope for a little reprieve toward the end of the month.
I was thinking that the trick-or-treaters would have a beautiful fall night to haunt, but that's likely not going to happen. And that probably means that Tiffany and I will have to eat all the Snickers ourselves! ;-)
She's upstairs, last minute, doing a video recording of herself reading to imaginery kids. We burned it to a disk, and both felt really accomplished.
I was at the Capitol today to hear about two initiatives running in the state - one calling for an Ethics Commission and the other for an independent Redistricting Commission. Both are good idea; neither will probably pass the initiative process. Here, it requires 10 percent of the voters who voted in the last gubernatorial election, and 10 percent from each of 26 out of 29 Senate districts. That's a huge hurdle to overcome.
But that's what life seems to be all about - hurdles. If we didn't have to overcome something, then we'd probably be bored stiff.
I was thinking that the trick-or-treaters would have a beautiful fall night to haunt, but that's likely not going to happen. And that probably means that Tiffany and I will have to eat all the Snickers ourselves! ;-)
She's upstairs, last minute, doing a video recording of herself reading to imaginery kids. We burned it to a disk, and both felt really accomplished.
I was at the Capitol today to hear about two initiatives running in the state - one calling for an Ethics Commission and the other for an independent Redistricting Commission. Both are good idea; neither will probably pass the initiative process. Here, it requires 10 percent of the voters who voted in the last gubernatorial election, and 10 percent from each of 26 out of 29 Senate districts. That's a huge hurdle to overcome.
But that's what life seems to be all about - hurdles. If we didn't have to overcome something, then we'd probably be bored stiff.
Steps
Today was a step back day for some reason. So far, I have been enjoying it here at Mizzou, however with music, I haven't been learning music at the same level I was last year. Its not that I can't, what I'm saying is that they have assigned me easy pieces, pieces I was playing 2 years ago. This has slowly made me frustrated and I'm planning on talking to one of the music professors this week about this and whether this will change next semester. Because basically from the music standpoint, it hasn't been worth the money so I'm hoping this will change. We can talk about this over skype or something.
I began thinking what I was really doing here and what I want to do. Stepping back and looking at what I have done. Switching schools seems rash. I'm not planning on it, just one of many random thoughts going through my mind today. Miss you guys. Miss the snow. What has happened to your blogs? I miss them. I'll write more if you write more. Love you
I began thinking what I was really doing here and what I want to do. Stepping back and looking at what I have done. Switching schools seems rash. I'm not planning on it, just one of many random thoughts going through my mind today. Miss you guys. Miss the snow. What has happened to your blogs? I miss them. I'll write more if you write more. Love you
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Making it a habit
I think I mentioned that Say Eow came to dinner last night. It was nice to see him, and particularly interesting to listen to how he works with his students. He looks at them individually, assessing each one's abilities and capacity for prodding. He knows that not every one of them will respond equally well to being driven forward; some need gentler encouragement than others.
What he's trying to develop in them is a habit of practice - maybe that's redundant. Isn't practice actually habitual? At any rate, you know how that all works and how it took time and different levels of encouragement before you really developed a pattern of practice.
I'd say that habits start small. That's why I want to encourage you to start reading for pleasure. Even if it's just 10 minutes a night, the habit you'll build will serve you well throughout your life. There is something soothing and enriching about going to bed after a stressful or tiring day and reading about a whole other universe - maybe filled with different problems, maybe full of joy and resolution.
Whatever, I hope that this is one habit you'll start to nurture. You've done so well developing others, and I believe that they've given you pleasure.
BTW, Hilary (Indrani's mom) just had her bone marrow transplant and it looks like it went very well. It's really a miracle, not only that she's alive, but also that she has come so far.
What he's trying to develop in them is a habit of practice - maybe that's redundant. Isn't practice actually habitual? At any rate, you know how that all works and how it took time and different levels of encouragement before you really developed a pattern of practice.
I'd say that habits start small. That's why I want to encourage you to start reading for pleasure. Even if it's just 10 minutes a night, the habit you'll build will serve you well throughout your life. There is something soothing and enriching about going to bed after a stressful or tiring day and reading about a whole other universe - maybe filled with different problems, maybe full of joy and resolution.
Whatever, I hope that this is one habit you'll start to nurture. You've done so well developing others, and I believe that they've given you pleasure.
BTW, Hilary (Indrani's mom) just had her bone marrow transplant and it looks like it went very well. It's really a miracle, not only that she's alive, but also that she has come so far.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Private Lives
Yesterday Dad and I went to see his sleep doctor, a nice, soft-spoken Asian guy who figures Dad just needs a little iron in his life. At any rate, they put us in a little room, after we read the sign out in the waiting room that says the doctor is on time. Then we start listening to the conversation in the adjoining room. Conversation is a euphemism for diatribe. I have pictured the man next door as an overweight, overbearing farmer whose family has dispossessed him. He's screaming at the doc. He's talking about how he thrashes around at night, wakes up with his mask in his hand, how he's divorced now because of it (Dad notes a possible other reason for the divorce), and he goes on and on, about pills and other doctors, blah blah blah. Finally, I get up and take Dad with me. I tell the nurse, hey, we'll wait outside because we really don't want to hear this guy's entire medical history. Boy, was that uncomfortable. And all I could think of is how they now make us wait behind some silly line at the pharmacy so people can have their "privacy."
I was at School Board the other night, and they have finally changed their policy to allow directory information online - as well as other printed materials. I wrote Miss Craigle immediately, and hope that she'll start putting up the Red and Black. The whole privacy issue is terribly misunderstood.
In some cases, we throw out our birthdates like they're candy, we "friend" total strangers on Facebook, and then we whine about not having lives of our own. The real lesson here is that we all must assume someone can lurk at almost any moment. We need to be brave and talk about things important to us, about our opinions, etc. But we also need to be mindful that the public often misinterprets things and that ill-advised statements tend to live forever.
The truth is that most people don't really want to be totally private. We have enough trouble just living within our own skins, and the trick is to find out how to reach out to others and let them in - even if just a little.
I tried to tell Lindsey to be careful on FB. Her language, you know. She said she can't control her mouth. This does not bode well for her future.
I noticed that Harry is writing for the Red and Black this year. He's becoming interested in journalism now, although I'm not sure what aspect. I'll be talking to Jane next week, so will have more info.
I was at School Board the other night, and they have finally changed their policy to allow directory information online - as well as other printed materials. I wrote Miss Craigle immediately, and hope that she'll start putting up the Red and Black. The whole privacy issue is terribly misunderstood.
In some cases, we throw out our birthdates like they're candy, we "friend" total strangers on Facebook, and then we whine about not having lives of our own. The real lesson here is that we all must assume someone can lurk at almost any moment. We need to be brave and talk about things important to us, about our opinions, etc. But we also need to be mindful that the public often misinterprets things and that ill-advised statements tend to live forever.
The truth is that most people don't really want to be totally private. We have enough trouble just living within our own skins, and the trick is to find out how to reach out to others and let them in - even if just a little.
I tried to tell Lindsey to be careful on FB. Her language, you know. She said she can't control her mouth. This does not bode well for her future.
I noticed that Harry is writing for the Red and Black this year. He's becoming interested in journalism now, although I'm not sure what aspect. I'll be talking to Jane next week, so will have more info.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Frail life, enduring love
Funny you should mention the frailty of life today. It seems to be all around us. I had trouble sleeping last night, first, inexlicably worrying about you and the Philippines. (Never mind THAT!) And then thinking about my mother as she was dying. I still remember when you came up to her room, and she hadn't really moved or spoken for several days. You said something to Nana, and she looked up at you and said something to you. What a beautiful moment that was for me - and I'm sure for her. To see your face and hear your sweet voice.
Theresa told me, after Mom died, that she had told her that my brother Ray needed her and so she had to go. I later found out that Ray's fiance, Terry, died the same month as Mother.
I remember seeing Mom crying quietly, sitting on the side of the bed. Mother was very private, and would never have told me what she was feeling or thinking about death, but I knew then that she was grieving, not for herself, but for the lives she would be missing - yours, mine, Papa's ... it was a bitter weeping of loss.
Today I stopped by to see Debbie Buese. She was off work today. As it happened, she was getting ready for a family dinner tonight. Her sister, Becky, has decided to go into hospice. Becky has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), and while she still jokes - heck, she's Debbie's sister, isn't she? - she's been suffering a lot. Debbie was just so fragile today, and has been questioning why God has heaped all this tragedy on her family. Sounds a lot like the Book of Job, doesn't it?
Just to top things off, she talked about Tom's sister, Fran, who died of an unexpected heart attack a few months back in Hawaii. Fran's boyfriend had invited a friend to stay with him this last week while she visited her daughter, who was having a baby. Well, to make a long story short, there was a house fire, the friend was killed and Fran's boyfriend was left with critical burns over his body. Debbie could only laugh. Of course, it was an ironic laugh.
I hugged her tight. We all look to God for help; we hope there is life beyond and we continue to believe. I told her we'd pray and she could take it as she wants. The Buddhists in Taiwan used to kind of gather all religions - Christian, Hindu, you name it - and pray - just in case one of them had it right.
I can't imagine that God treats us like his puppets and metes out joy or sadness. But really, God, what's this all about?
I'm sorry for the losses at your school and around you. Just know that I love you, and I've left you in God's arms.
Theresa told me, after Mom died, that she had told her that my brother Ray needed her and so she had to go. I later found out that Ray's fiance, Terry, died the same month as Mother.
I remember seeing Mom crying quietly, sitting on the side of the bed. Mother was very private, and would never have told me what she was feeling or thinking about death, but I knew then that she was grieving, not for herself, but for the lives she would be missing - yours, mine, Papa's ... it was a bitter weeping of loss.
Today I stopped by to see Debbie Buese. She was off work today. As it happened, she was getting ready for a family dinner tonight. Her sister, Becky, has decided to go into hospice. Becky has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), and while she still jokes - heck, she's Debbie's sister, isn't she? - she's been suffering a lot. Debbie was just so fragile today, and has been questioning why God has heaped all this tragedy on her family. Sounds a lot like the Book of Job, doesn't it?
Just to top things off, she talked about Tom's sister, Fran, who died of an unexpected heart attack a few months back in Hawaii. Fran's boyfriend had invited a friend to stay with him this last week while she visited her daughter, who was having a baby. Well, to make a long story short, there was a house fire, the friend was killed and Fran's boyfriend was left with critical burns over his body. Debbie could only laugh. Of course, it was an ironic laugh.
I hugged her tight. We all look to God for help; we hope there is life beyond and we continue to believe. I told her we'd pray and she could take it as she wants. The Buddhists in Taiwan used to kind of gather all religions - Christian, Hindu, you name it - and pray - just in case one of them had it right.
I can't imagine that God treats us like his puppets and metes out joy or sadness. But really, God, what's this all about?
I'm sorry for the losses at your school and around you. Just know that I love you, and I've left you in God's arms.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Columns in Autum
Today I am writing this blog while sitting under the columns that you see in almost every Mizzou promotional picture. Its one of those beautiful fall days. Sunny, warm, pleasant breeze, and the trees many different colors. There probably won't be many more days like this the rest of the year so I figured I should take advantage. This was aided by Jillian's text with a picture of a multi-colored tree on campus saying "yay fall" and as soon as I was done with piano for the day (around 3) I headed over to the quad which is where I sit now.
Bits of interesting news developments today and I don't want to worry you, because you know I always take care of myself. The news of the UConn football player stabbed and later passing away yesterday, along with the news I just got in an email of a girl who lives on the floor above unexpectedly passing away this morning, has once again brought to mind to many people the frailty of life. I'm not one for all this emotional and philosophical stuff but I thought I should pass along what thoughts came to mind today. That and learning various arguments as to why God exists in philosophy class today have been very interesting. Even our philosophy teacher claimed to be in an existential mood today. It's funny how when one of these days comes along, it seems to affect everyone in some shape or form. In out english class today, our teacher let us out 20 min early because everyone seemed to be in a funk (probably because it was monday, but today was very noticable) Its been a thought provoking day to say the least.
The wind is now picking up and getting a little cooler so I think I will head to the library and start with my mound of Econ reading to do. Or maybe I'll sit here and enjoy the day and relax a little more and plan the week ahead. Talk to you guys soon and enjoy the game on saturday. Love you!
Bits of interesting news developments today and I don't want to worry you, because you know I always take care of myself. The news of the UConn football player stabbed and later passing away yesterday, along with the news I just got in an email of a girl who lives on the floor above unexpectedly passing away this morning, has once again brought to mind to many people the frailty of life. I'm not one for all this emotional and philosophical stuff but I thought I should pass along what thoughts came to mind today. That and learning various arguments as to why God exists in philosophy class today have been very interesting. Even our philosophy teacher claimed to be in an existential mood today. It's funny how when one of these days comes along, it seems to affect everyone in some shape or form. In out english class today, our teacher let us out 20 min early because everyone seemed to be in a funk (probably because it was monday, but today was very noticable) Its been a thought provoking day to say the least.
The wind is now picking up and getting a little cooler so I think I will head to the library and start with my mound of Econ reading to do. Or maybe I'll sit here and enjoy the day and relax a little more and plan the week ahead. Talk to you guys soon and enjoy the game on saturday. Love you!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Laundry
Here I am sitting in the laundry room at 5:30 doing some laundry. However, some people are inconsiderate and leave while their clothes are in the dryer and don't come to get them for a LONG TIME. I think I'm going to take some out instead of wait any longer.
Went to go see a poet I had never heard of before. Her name is Jessica Care Moore and little did I know she's pretty famous. She won amateur night at the Apollo 5 times and has published several books along with her own publishing company. She also has worked with Mos Def, Nas, and Talib Kweli, etc. I don't think you know who they are though. She is very outspoken and doesn't beat around the bush at all. I'm sure if you read some of her poetry you would understand. Also got extra credit for English for going along with free dinner.
Piano has been going well and she is happy with my progress. I think I should be ready for my audition in December for a major. Should be a good weekend for football. I'll call you guys tomorrow. Still planning on going to the Air Force game?
That's good to hear about Kevin. No, haven't read much of the book. I do however read lots on the internet. I know you'll say that doesn't count. I've become really addicted to this one guy's blog, but probably wouldn't interest you. You can go to uniwatchblog.com and see what I mean.
Just got some dryers finally, now just the 45 minute wait for them to dry
Went to go see a poet I had never heard of before. Her name is Jessica Care Moore and little did I know she's pretty famous. She won amateur night at the Apollo 5 times and has published several books along with her own publishing company. She also has worked with Mos Def, Nas, and Talib Kweli, etc. I don't think you know who they are though. She is very outspoken and doesn't beat around the bush at all. I'm sure if you read some of her poetry you would understand. Also got extra credit for English for going along with free dinner.
Piano has been going well and she is happy with my progress. I think I should be ready for my audition in December for a major. Should be a good weekend for football. I'll call you guys tomorrow. Still planning on going to the Air Force game?
That's good to hear about Kevin. No, haven't read much of the book. I do however read lots on the internet. I know you'll say that doesn't count. I've become really addicted to this one guy's blog, but probably wouldn't interest you. You can go to uniwatchblog.com and see what I mean.
Just got some dryers finally, now just the 45 minute wait for them to dry
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Oh, Charley
I didn't sleep too well last night thinking about Charley. Yes, Charley the Dog. Charley, Tiffany's dog. Charley is still a puppy, very much energetic, and as you can probably guess, just loves Violette. He also loves Tiffany.
I mentioned last night that I was glad Tif's mom was thinking about a dog door because both Charley and Daphne like to go in and out, and the dog door will be great for them. Well, Tif said she probably wouldn't have a dog door. She was thinking of moving out - from HERE - soon, with a girlfriend.
A couple of problems here: One, her mom. Tif said she's been trying to convince her that it would be easier for Lori if Tif had never lived in the new house. Now, I don't know about that - either way. But I'm sure it will be hard. It's always hard when our babes leave home.
But I asked about the dog door thing. She said she thought she'd just leave Charley in his crate all day - wouldn't really be that long, she said - just from 10-3. Egad!
I just can't imagine Charley cooped up for that amount of time. OK, Charley's cute and all, but he isn't our dog. Still, he's a living being, and it worries me. Daphne doesn't mind sleeping all day long, but then she IS 15 years old.
So I'm trying to think of how to think about this. Not my dog, not my business doesn't really make it. But I do have to figure out how to express my responsibility to this boisterous little life without making it all my responsibility.
I mentioned last night that I was glad Tif's mom was thinking about a dog door because both Charley and Daphne like to go in and out, and the dog door will be great for them. Well, Tif said she probably wouldn't have a dog door. She was thinking of moving out - from HERE - soon, with a girlfriend.
A couple of problems here: One, her mom. Tif said she's been trying to convince her that it would be easier for Lori if Tif had never lived in the new house. Now, I don't know about that - either way. But I'm sure it will be hard. It's always hard when our babes leave home.
But I asked about the dog door thing. She said she thought she'd just leave Charley in his crate all day - wouldn't really be that long, she said - just from 10-3. Egad!
I just can't imagine Charley cooped up for that amount of time. OK, Charley's cute and all, but he isn't our dog. Still, he's a living being, and it worries me. Daphne doesn't mind sleeping all day long, but then she IS 15 years old.
So I'm trying to think of how to think about this. Not my dog, not my business doesn't really make it. But I do have to figure out how to express my responsibility to this boisterous little life without making it all my responsibility.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Lessons in leadership
I love reading about your life at school. I've lived in several places other than Utah, and while I sometimes thought I might be there forever, I would start thinking about the weather here or the mountains or just home in general. It does help to gain another perspective, though, and no matter where you live, that's always a good idea.
I've been thinking a lot about leadership this week, probably because of Obama's Nobel Peace Prize, but also because of very personal issues like church, the League of Women Voters and friendship. Life, I guess, is a lot about trying to get people to understand your point of view, and then trying to understand someone else's. We're all trying to lead a little when we talk to one another - lead someone into your mind and close to your point of view.
Unfortunately, I think many Americans now lead from fear. Either they try to kindle fear in others to persuade them, or they act out of fear and so create a following of fearful, hateful people.
I think Americans voted for Obama because he offered hope, not fear, in a very fearful time. He now has opportunities no other president in recent times has had. Health care is one. I do wish he'd speak out on this very important issue. John F. and I were talking, and we think Obama very much wants to "include" all the players. But in doing that, he has left out the first and most important step: a discussion of the principles.
The players need to agree on the broad principles of health care first before they start tinkering with the system. Obama seems to be afraid to speak the phrase "public option" although that, indeed, is what's on most people's minds. One way or the other.
Leadership is not easy, but then, it's not brain surgery either. Principles, goals, trust. These are all essentials of leadership.
Living in Missouri or Washington, D.C., you will learn of things that are important to others; you will see how some people create small cabals of nasty people and how others shine a gentle light on you.
I am so proud of you and your leadership, Ray. Missouri is just one stop along the way.
I've been thinking a lot about leadership this week, probably because of Obama's Nobel Peace Prize, but also because of very personal issues like church, the League of Women Voters and friendship. Life, I guess, is a lot about trying to get people to understand your point of view, and then trying to understand someone else's. We're all trying to lead a little when we talk to one another - lead someone into your mind and close to your point of view.
Unfortunately, I think many Americans now lead from fear. Either they try to kindle fear in others to persuade them, or they act out of fear and so create a following of fearful, hateful people.
I think Americans voted for Obama because he offered hope, not fear, in a very fearful time. He now has opportunities no other president in recent times has had. Health care is one. I do wish he'd speak out on this very important issue. John F. and I were talking, and we think Obama very much wants to "include" all the players. But in doing that, he has left out the first and most important step: a discussion of the principles.
The players need to agree on the broad principles of health care first before they start tinkering with the system. Obama seems to be afraid to speak the phrase "public option" although that, indeed, is what's on most people's minds. One way or the other.
Leadership is not easy, but then, it's not brain surgery either. Principles, goals, trust. These are all essentials of leadership.
Living in Missouri or Washington, D.C., you will learn of things that are important to others; you will see how some people create small cabals of nasty people and how others shine a gentle light on you.
I am so proud of you and your leadership, Ray. Missouri is just one stop along the way.
Just another day in Seat... I mean Columbia
Today was the third straight day of overcast skies. It was sunny on the weekend, but it rains A LOT here. I feel as if I was in the northwest going to UDUB or Oregon which one reason I chose not to go there was because of all the rain. Oh the irony. Ha, the rain is nice here though.
We watched the 2005 film "Crash" in English today. We're actually watching it this whole week. All I can say so far is woah, they couldn't of possibly put in anymore controversial stereotypes in the movie. The curriculum is based around "Race, class, and gender" and their impact in today's world. This has been a really interesting subject for what would otherwise be a relatively boring class. Before we watched Crash, we watched Spike Lee's documentary "When the Levees Broke" and had to write a paper on what we felt were the main reasons for the disaster in NO and what should be done in the future. Loved the topic because I had a genuine interest in it instead of many other English papers. I have a feeling the class will continue to get me out of my comfort zone shed new viewpoints on the subjects we're discussing.
Now to take a nap and listen to the rain.
We watched the 2005 film "Crash" in English today. We're actually watching it this whole week. All I can say so far is woah, they couldn't of possibly put in anymore controversial stereotypes in the movie. The curriculum is based around "Race, class, and gender" and their impact in today's world. This has been a really interesting subject for what would otherwise be a relatively boring class. Before we watched Crash, we watched Spike Lee's documentary "When the Levees Broke" and had to write a paper on what we felt were the main reasons for the disaster in NO and what should be done in the future. Loved the topic because I had a genuine interest in it instead of many other English papers. I have a feeling the class will continue to get me out of my comfort zone shed new viewpoints on the subjects we're discussing.
Now to take a nap and listen to the rain.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Every day I say to myself, I'm going to blog and then I find a way to put it off. Sorry! I plan on doing this more frequently from here on out. After all, I'm bet you're pretty curious what goes on in my day since you can't ask me when I come home from school when I reply the usual "nothing." That's probably what I would say now. However, a day in college is much more interesting than high school. The fact that you get be outside more throughout the day makes school much more enjoyable instead of being locked up inside a building with strict rules on where to be. Being on campus in the fall is great, any campus would be with the leaves all the different colors and thousands of students bustling to class. The campus here is pretty compact so there's always people moving instead of the U's campus where its so spread out and you sometimes have to take shuttles across campus. Here, its a 10 minute walk across the whole campus.
Had a test earlier today. I think I did pretty well. Only took 40 minutes so got out of the class 30 minutes early which makes any day better. Living with other people is interesting. We have the messy one, the quiet one, the one who doesn't like football so doesn't hang out with us much, and me. Man is the messy one messy. He needs his mom around to tell him to clean up still I guess. The Catholics and Rush Limbaugh fans are pretty predominant here. Lots of kids from St. Louis went to all boy or all girl catholic high schools and it is very easy to tell who did and didn't. Its interesting to see how different, various parts of the country are. You can't really tell until you start living somewhere. I can say now that once out of school, Missouri will not be my place of residence, but going to school here is fine.
I'm going to go study at the library for a few hours and then get some dinner and then relax in my room. Hope this was helpful.
Had a test earlier today. I think I did pretty well. Only took 40 minutes so got out of the class 30 minutes early which makes any day better. Living with other people is interesting. We have the messy one, the quiet one, the one who doesn't like football so doesn't hang out with us much, and me. Man is the messy one messy. He needs his mom around to tell him to clean up still I guess. The Catholics and Rush Limbaugh fans are pretty predominant here. Lots of kids from St. Louis went to all boy or all girl catholic high schools and it is very easy to tell who did and didn't. Its interesting to see how different, various parts of the country are. You can't really tell until you start living somewhere. I can say now that once out of school, Missouri will not be my place of residence, but going to school here is fine.
I'm going to go study at the library for a few hours and then get some dinner and then relax in my room. Hope this was helpful.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Money, money, money
No, I'm actually not thinking about money today, but the word itself has been on my mind. It's stewardship time at church and that tends to be the time when we hear that our money is just so much of a barrier to God, but the church could really use it and maybe it's not really much of a barrier to institutions. It just seems so incongruous to me.
Of course, I agree that money for money's sake is hollow. And some of us, me included, at times hold onto material possessions for fear of a barren future, for fear of not having enough for our children or ourselves in our old age.
Fear. That's the barrier. I like to think that money is to use, not only for ourselves, our well-being and hopefully happiness, but also for the good of mankind. Maybe we can spread our good fortune to those who are in need. Maybe we can learn to give without looking for the payback.
I have fears. I am beginning to see that our church has fears, too, and that institutions are less able to deal with them in a spiritual way. Why that is, I am not sure. It could be that the goals are so important that they obliterate the reasons we have set those goals.
Oh what the heck. Let's all give up money and take communion on the roadside.
Of course, I agree that money for money's sake is hollow. And some of us, me included, at times hold onto material possessions for fear of a barren future, for fear of not having enough for our children or ourselves in our old age.
Fear. That's the barrier. I like to think that money is to use, not only for ourselves, our well-being and hopefully happiness, but also for the good of mankind. Maybe we can spread our good fortune to those who are in need. Maybe we can learn to give without looking for the payback.
I have fears. I am beginning to see that our church has fears, too, and that institutions are less able to deal with them in a spiritual way. Why that is, I am not sure. It could be that the goals are so important that they obliterate the reasons we have set those goals.
Oh what the heck. Let's all give up money and take communion on the roadside.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Gift of music
Luli and I went to a taping of From the Top, the NPR program that features kids playing classical music. The kids were pretty incredible - from piano, to violin to even marimbas! The finale was an orchestra of 18 from 8-17 years old who part of a Gifted Music School here in Salt Lake.
There was one piece you might be interested in looking up, played by Christopher O'Neil (he said for the first time ever). It was called "Falling Man," apparently composed after 9-11.
As interesting and surprising as the music was, I couldn't help but jolt at the frequent references to "Mormons" and then an interview with two teens who pretty much bore their little testimonies about how their huge families and good morals made them realize that their faith was "right." What a show-stopper! They even made one kid eat green Jell-O. How special!
We went in to the reception afterwards - co-sponsored by KBYU - and the unfortunate impression I was left with was that of a stage mom who kept telling people that her daughter was the one with the voice that warbled.
I am glad that you are my very talented son, a fine pianist who found that your gift of music was one that had to be earned.
There was one piece you might be interested in looking up, played by Christopher O'Neil (he said for the first time ever). It was called "Falling Man," apparently composed after 9-11.
As interesting and surprising as the music was, I couldn't help but jolt at the frequent references to "Mormons" and then an interview with two teens who pretty much bore their little testimonies about how their huge families and good morals made them realize that their faith was "right." What a show-stopper! They even made one kid eat green Jell-O. How special!
We went in to the reception afterwards - co-sponsored by KBYU - and the unfortunate impression I was left with was that of a stage mom who kept telling people that her daughter was the one with the voice that warbled.
I am glad that you are my very talented son, a fine pianist who found that your gift of music was one that had to be earned.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
God will provide
My cover story came out today - www.cityweekly.net - and Dad says no one will understand it. ;-) Oh well. It was good for me to research and learn. I only wish I could actually have gone to Green River to talk to the people there personally. That makes stories so much more vivid, and needless to say, more interesting to write, too!
Which brings me to the church stewardship package. I'll bet you wonder how. Emil sent out a plea which at first just depressed me. He said things like "bare-bones" budget and the parish could become "moribund." I know, everyone is out there looking up the word "moribund" now.
But that, and indeed nuclear power, have similarities. Both are borne of desperation. I mean, if we're without power, what then? And, if we're without money, what then?
How does someone turn this kind of pessimism, this kind of darkness, into light? Well, I don't think it's by giving up, or giving in to the malaise. I think that there is power in positive thinking and in belief. God will provide. And He does.
Which brings me to the church stewardship package. I'll bet you wonder how. Emil sent out a plea which at first just depressed me. He said things like "bare-bones" budget and the parish could become "moribund." I know, everyone is out there looking up the word "moribund" now.
But that, and indeed nuclear power, have similarities. Both are borne of desperation. I mean, if we're without power, what then? And, if we're without money, what then?
How does someone turn this kind of pessimism, this kind of darkness, into light? Well, I don't think it's by giving up, or giving in to the malaise. I think that there is power in positive thinking and in belief. God will provide. And He does.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Walk with the moon
Tonight after dinner, Tif, Lori and I went out with the dogs on a walk. The moon is big, the valley clear and the air crisp. As we passed the homes in Gilmer Park, we all wondered at who was inside and what they were doing then.
I just got a message from my Uncle Bun's son that his father had died. He was 86, just like Papa. Bain used to send me a lot of emails; I think he enjoyed finding interesting things to post. I have to say, if they weren't funny, they were patriotic. That's the way he was.
Bain was the brother of my mom's best friend, Lynn. You remember when we tried to go see Aunt Lynn, but drove endlessly down the coast to Monterey, and ultimately arrived too late. I am planning to go see her soon. I hope.
I tried looking for something about Uncle Bun on the web, but immediately found his nephew - also Bain - in a blog. This Bain is "Biff" and has always been - in my memory - an incredibly gifted pianist. I also remember he was pretty good at card tricks, too!
Anyway, I thought you'd enjoy looking at his site and maybe even downloading some of his music. He's almost family, you know:
http://biffsmith.blogspot.com/
Somewhere in one of these houses someone is playing the piano; someone is listening to music. I can still hear you playing in my head.
I just got a message from my Uncle Bun's son that his father had died. He was 86, just like Papa. Bain used to send me a lot of emails; I think he enjoyed finding interesting things to post. I have to say, if they weren't funny, they were patriotic. That's the way he was.
Bain was the brother of my mom's best friend, Lynn. You remember when we tried to go see Aunt Lynn, but drove endlessly down the coast to Monterey, and ultimately arrived too late. I am planning to go see her soon. I hope.
I tried looking for something about Uncle Bun on the web, but immediately found his nephew - also Bain - in a blog. This Bain is "Biff" and has always been - in my memory - an incredibly gifted pianist. I also remember he was pretty good at card tricks, too!
Anyway, I thought you'd enjoy looking at his site and maybe even downloading some of his music. He's almost family, you know:
http://biffsmith.blogspot.com/
Somewhere in one of these houses someone is playing the piano; someone is listening to music. I can still hear you playing in my head.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Dismal Days
I took Bandit and Violette with me for a walk in the Avenues this afternoon with Anne. It was rainy and cold, but that made the whole experience somehow dramatic. We were kind of looking for Anne's cell phone, which she eventually found in her closet, but you never know. And she doesn't sync hers, either! I guess I'd better figure out how.
We walked up to see someone's garden, and passed John F's home, so I started to call him when a couple walked out and unleashed their dog, who was sitting on his porch. In the cold rain, John came out in his bare feet. First thing out of his mouth was to ask about you.
Earlier, I'd had coffee with Heather and Debbie, and we talked a little about all the thefts at West. I guess it's been particularly horrible this year and a gang came by, cut all the bicycle locks and just piled the bikes in a truck and drove off. Other stories have been about pickpocketing. The new principal cut back the security that Margery beefed up, but I wonder if that has anything to do with it. The security details were kind of a joke anyway, weren't they?
That news just seemed perfect for such a dismal old day. But even so, I end up loving the rain, even the cold rain, because you're eventually forced inside to the warmth.
Stay warm, even on dismal days.
We walked up to see someone's garden, and passed John F's home, so I started to call him when a couple walked out and unleashed their dog, who was sitting on his porch. In the cold rain, John came out in his bare feet. First thing out of his mouth was to ask about you.
Earlier, I'd had coffee with Heather and Debbie, and we talked a little about all the thefts at West. I guess it's been particularly horrible this year and a gang came by, cut all the bicycle locks and just piled the bikes in a truck and drove off. Other stories have been about pickpocketing. The new principal cut back the security that Margery beefed up, but I wonder if that has anything to do with it. The security details were kind of a joke anyway, weren't they?
That news just seemed perfect for such a dismal old day. But even so, I end up loving the rain, even the cold rain, because you're eventually forced inside to the warmth.
Stay warm, even on dismal days.
First post on a lazy sunday
I don't think I'll post every day. Maybe. We'll see how things go. Today has been a very easy going day. Woke up at 11:30 then went and had an omelet and fruit for breakfast. Then I've just been watching football in my room. Planning on going to church later today. I think I did pretty well on my Econ test Friday morning. Also been a somewhat quiet weekend. A lot of people went home.
The culture shock here is quite interesting. I'm so used to people of different races getting along so well being from West. But its quite the contrary here. The black kids (I won't try to be politically correct here) usually keep to themselves and don't break out of their circle and the other white kids act relatively the same. Especially the Chicago kids (northside specifically). They are very cocky and exclusive. When we were watching football yesterday, one was talking about Georgia and was saying its a good school. Then he looked around to see who was around him and said "but there's a lot of black people there." I am not used to this behavior at all and this has really changed my attitude about Chicago. They behave the same ways about people who aren't Catholic and are relatively homophobic. I haven't been letting this affect me and remain being my diverse self.
Well anyways, I'll talk to you guys later tonight.
The culture shock here is quite interesting. I'm so used to people of different races getting along so well being from West. But its quite the contrary here. The black kids (I won't try to be politically correct here) usually keep to themselves and don't break out of their circle and the other white kids act relatively the same. Especially the Chicago kids (northside specifically). They are very cocky and exclusive. When we were watching football yesterday, one was talking about Georgia and was saying its a good school. Then he looked around to see who was around him and said "but there's a lot of black people there." I am not used to this behavior at all and this has really changed my attitude about Chicago. They behave the same ways about people who aren't Catholic and are relatively homophobic. I haven't been letting this affect me and remain being my diverse self.
Well anyways, I'll talk to you guys later tonight.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Mowing the grass
Our lawn gets smaller and smaller - by design. But it still deserves attention. I know I don't give it the kind of attention you'd like, but still, I kind of tell it I care. I do like to use the push mower. I'm sorry. It just makes me feel kinder to the earth, even though my personal contribution won't amount to anything. I bought some new hand clippers today so that I could trim it up and you wouldn't feel so ashamed of the sad little lawn from afar.
The new piece of art placed itself in the middle of the small plot at the top of the garden. It placed itself so that I can't really mow there anymore. At least temporarily, until the objet d'art decides it wants to be somewhere else.
I'm now trying to figure out what to do with the stone bench, under which all the grass died. I'm going to let this reveal itself to me, as well.
I hope you don't mind that I'm keeping up less-than-perfect appearances, but there is something nice about working outside a little. And something nice about working on something small that still needs attention.
The new piece of art placed itself in the middle of the small plot at the top of the garden. It placed itself so that I can't really mow there anymore. At least temporarily, until the objet d'art decides it wants to be somewhere else.
I'm now trying to figure out what to do with the stone bench, under which all the grass died. I'm going to let this reveal itself to me, as well.
I hope you don't mind that I'm keeping up less-than-perfect appearances, but there is something nice about working outside a little. And something nice about working on something small that still needs attention.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Art and Life
This is a test. There's a new piece of art in our garden. It's big and the wind isn't likely to blow it over. Someone asked if it was a transmitter - jokingly, of course. I think I like it. I like art that pushes the envelope, except I never did like Dali. And I actually owned some of his prints for awhile. Wow, that was a mistake for me.
I think I'm getting positive feedback from the neighborhood, but you can never really tell what people think. I'm trying to grow into it. Mike and Therese muscled it up the stairs today, and told me the story of another they took up to a penthouse for some man. He lived in condos that had no freight elevator, so they were forced to push it up, head over heel, the many flights of the fire stairwell. It took 2 1/2 hours, and when they got it in place, Mike said that if the man didn't like it, they'd just throw it over the balcony.
I'm not throwing this one anywhere, partly because it's likely to impale someone. That would be messy.
I went from sculpture to theater today. Diane, Jillian and I went to see Chorus Line. It always amazes me how much stamina artists have. All artists. I suppose it's a hunger for their calling and a love of their art.
I think this is how we find our own callings in life. We look not only to what we love, but what gives us energy.
I think I'm getting positive feedback from the neighborhood, but you can never really tell what people think. I'm trying to grow into it. Mike and Therese muscled it up the stairs today, and told me the story of another they took up to a penthouse for some man. He lived in condos that had no freight elevator, so they were forced to push it up, head over heel, the many flights of the fire stairwell. It took 2 1/2 hours, and when they got it in place, Mike said that if the man didn't like it, they'd just throw it over the balcony.
I'm not throwing this one anywhere, partly because it's likely to impale someone. That would be messy.
I went from sculpture to theater today. Diane, Jillian and I went to see Chorus Line. It always amazes me how much stamina artists have. All artists. I suppose it's a hunger for their calling and a love of their art.
I think this is how we find our own callings in life. We look not only to what we love, but what gives us energy.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
I, me, you and us
I’ve been thinking about relationships today. Important relationships. I know there are times you wonder about why Dad and I argue, especially about stupid things. Well, let’s put that aside and talk about another relationship.
We have a friend who’s been dating a man she really likes. The two of them have great personalities and they are both quite smart so they can laugh at jokes that are subtle and esoteric. Those are good qualities and bode well for a deeper friendship.
But for some reason, these two people who obviously like each other can’t talk about anything important. They can’t talk about their foibles, about the joys in their lives and the things that make them stumble. More importantly, they can’t talk about what’s happening between the two of them.
When everything is unspoken, then nothing is understood. It’s that simple. I’ve always been a believer that truth saves. It’s often hard to talk truth, and sometimes it’s even unwise. But ultimately, it’s important to tell people what you really think and really feel if you want them to trust you, or even love you.
That’s why people fight – with words, of course. It’s called communication. We are each individuals who are sheltered by our own skins, but we are also made to reach out to others, to connect in some important way. That doesn’t mean that we all have to agree on everything, or certainly not that we have to think the same way about everything.
It just means we have to talk. We have to say things that are meaningful to us and hope that they somehow translate to that other person.
I hope our two friends can bridge that gap. In the meantime, let’s just keep talking.
We have a friend who’s been dating a man she really likes. The two of them have great personalities and they are both quite smart so they can laugh at jokes that are subtle and esoteric. Those are good qualities and bode well for a deeper friendship.
But for some reason, these two people who obviously like each other can’t talk about anything important. They can’t talk about their foibles, about the joys in their lives and the things that make them stumble. More importantly, they can’t talk about what’s happening between the two of them.
When everything is unspoken, then nothing is understood. It’s that simple. I’ve always been a believer that truth saves. It’s often hard to talk truth, and sometimes it’s even unwise. But ultimately, it’s important to tell people what you really think and really feel if you want them to trust you, or even love you.
That’s why people fight – with words, of course. It’s called communication. We are each individuals who are sheltered by our own skins, but we are also made to reach out to others, to connect in some important way. That doesn’t mean that we all have to agree on everything, or certainly not that we have to think the same way about everything.
It just means we have to talk. We have to say things that are meaningful to us and hope that they somehow translate to that other person.
I hope our two friends can bridge that gap. In the meantime, let’s just keep talking.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Talk of snow
It's rainy and cold, and some people have seen snow. We saw some hail, but it was brief and transitory. The talk of snow set everyone atwitter on the internet. They love it or they hate it. Whatever.
I remember when a snow was really a snow, or something like that. You were 2 and day after day, the snow kept falling. Richard and Dad and Andy were out shoveling every morning, and getting anywhere was a chore, especially since I was still working up in Ogden. Had to be there at 7, and many days I'd just putt along at 25 mph on the interstate. Not fun. I dreamed of FrontRunner. Now it's here and I can't use it.
The snow drifts were taller than you and I remember Dad plopping you in the white billows while he shoveled.
My mother used to hate the snow only because it got dirty so fast when car exhaust blackened the streets. I don't blame her on that one, but I also think it's OK to love and hate the snow. It can be quiet and comforting as well as fearsome and cold.
My brother and I got lost once up in Park City when we took a turn onto a "closed" trail. I led him right over a small cliff. That was exciting in a sickening way. We just kept on skiing downhill in all the solitude, and eventually found ourselves coming out on a paved street. My father was not at all happy, but he was, actually.
Stay warm this winter. We'll be sending snow to Missouri.
I remember when a snow was really a snow, or something like that. You were 2 and day after day, the snow kept falling. Richard and Dad and Andy were out shoveling every morning, and getting anywhere was a chore, especially since I was still working up in Ogden. Had to be there at 7, and many days I'd just putt along at 25 mph on the interstate. Not fun. I dreamed of FrontRunner. Now it's here and I can't use it.
The snow drifts were taller than you and I remember Dad plopping you in the white billows while he shoveled.
My mother used to hate the snow only because it got dirty so fast when car exhaust blackened the streets. I don't blame her on that one, but I also think it's OK to love and hate the snow. It can be quiet and comforting as well as fearsome and cold.
My brother and I got lost once up in Park City when we took a turn onto a "closed" trail. I led him right over a small cliff. That was exciting in a sickening way. We just kept on skiing downhill in all the solitude, and eventually found ourselves coming out on a paved street. My father was not at all happy, but he was, actually.
Stay warm this winter. We'll be sending snow to Missouri.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
A Blustery Day
It’s a blustery day, as Pooh would say. My mother never liked Pooh. She said he “wasn’t real,” although she didn’t have the same high standards for, say, Perry Mason. Anyway, it was OK that I grew up without Pooh. I still don’t really understand his philosophies, even though I shared them with you, Ray, when you were growing up.
One of my best friends from college had a Pooh nickname. Linda and her friends got them from being Girl Scout leaders. I can’t remember her name, but her friend’s was Eeyore. “Thanks for noticing me.”
Linda just retired from teaching high school, but it’s hard to think of her as anything but a crazy Greek college student. And by Greek, I mean real Greek, even though we were in a sorority together, too.
On this blustery day, Dad and I had fettuccini with pine nuts. It reminded me of long ago and a friend named Karla. Karla’s mom worked at KALL radio, which then was upstairs on Main Street – not unlike City Weekly now. After school, we’d sometimes walk down to KALL, and always picked up a bag of warm pine nuts that were being roasted in a front window on the ground-floor .
I wonder what memories you will carry with you of friends and maybe even nuts.
One of my best friends from college had a Pooh nickname. Linda and her friends got them from being Girl Scout leaders. I can’t remember her name, but her friend’s was Eeyore. “Thanks for noticing me.”
Linda just retired from teaching high school, but it’s hard to think of her as anything but a crazy Greek college student. And by Greek, I mean real Greek, even though we were in a sorority together, too.
On this blustery day, Dad and I had fettuccini with pine nuts. It reminded me of long ago and a friend named Karla. Karla’s mom worked at KALL radio, which then was upstairs on Main Street – not unlike City Weekly now. After school, we’d sometimes walk down to KALL, and always picked up a bag of warm pine nuts that were being roasted in a front window on the ground-floor .
I wonder what memories you will carry with you of friends and maybe even nuts.
From Ray to Ray
Just a few days ago I acknowledged another anniversary of my brother's death. Ray was killed in 1981 in a car crash with a drunken driver in Sacramento. I try not to think of this too often, this horrific turning place in my life and the lives of my parents. Of the fact that he died on my best friend's birthday and that every year now, I celebrate her life while I mourn his death at 29.
But I also thank God for the miracle of my own son, Ray - after the uncle he never knew. My Ray went off to college this year. Responsible, creative, motivated ... far from home. Boy, do we miss him.
I remember my mother telling me once that she felt responsible for my brother's death. He had wanted to come home from law school, and she and Dad encouraged him to stick it out. If only he had come home, she said.
But that was fruitless talk. Perhaps the crash would have found him wherever he was. No sense in going after if's. My Ray is nonetheless not my parents' Ray. And maybe neither of them really were ours anyway.
We and our loved ones belong to the world, and I am learning now to see Ray as my gift to that world. I can't harbor him in my arms forever, but there is that place in my heart.
But I also thank God for the miracle of my own son, Ray - after the uncle he never knew. My Ray went off to college this year. Responsible, creative, motivated ... far from home. Boy, do we miss him.
I remember my mother telling me once that she felt responsible for my brother's death. He had wanted to come home from law school, and she and Dad encouraged him to stick it out. If only he had come home, she said.
But that was fruitless talk. Perhaps the crash would have found him wherever he was. No sense in going after if's. My Ray is nonetheless not my parents' Ray. And maybe neither of them really were ours anyway.
We and our loved ones belong to the world, and I am learning now to see Ray as my gift to that world. I can't harbor him in my arms forever, but there is that place in my heart.
Miss Tif's Day at School
Miss Tiffany's Day at School. Right now Miss Tif is wondering, "What if HE just wants to be my friend?" And her answer to herself is, "I don't need any more friends." But this, of course, has nothing to do with this post. Miss Tiffany is a first-grade teacher's aid, and had some interesting conversations with the yung'uns today. It started with Timmy's (name changed to protect the guilty) cousin who "dot awested cause she lied to a top." No, no, Timmy, Miss Tif says, Now remember, we don't ever lie to police officers. Then, Suzy came out with, "My dad's in and out of jail, but my stepdad isn't, so that's OK." To which Miss Tif said, way to go, way to see the BRIGHT SIDE. And then she hears about Freddie's dad getting pulled over for drinking and driving to which she says, sometimes dads forget it's not good to drink and drive and we need to remind them. But not to be upstaged, one little girl says, "Then, you might have heard it in the news, my my mom's best friend got arrested because she mistook her baby for a turkey and chopped it up and ate its brains." What can you say to that? We don't talk about that sort of thing in school.
Amen.
So this, Ray, may make you want to change your mind about careers. The teaching profession not only has a lot to offer, but some really interesting stories as well.
Amen.
So this, Ray, may make you want to change your mind about careers. The teaching profession not only has a lot to offer, but some really interesting stories as well.
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