Funny you should mention the frailty of life today. It seems to be all around us. I had trouble sleeping last night, first, inexlicably worrying about you and the Philippines. (Never mind THAT!) And then thinking about my mother as she was dying. I still remember when you came up to her room, and she hadn't really moved or spoken for several days. You said something to Nana, and she looked up at you and said something to you. What a beautiful moment that was for me - and I'm sure for her. To see your face and hear your sweet voice.
Theresa told me, after Mom died, that she had told her that my brother Ray needed her and so she had to go. I later found out that Ray's fiance, Terry, died the same month as Mother.
I remember seeing Mom crying quietly, sitting on the side of the bed. Mother was very private, and would never have told me what she was feeling or thinking about death, but I knew then that she was grieving, not for herself, but for the lives she would be missing - yours, mine, Papa's ... it was a bitter weeping of loss.
Today I stopped by to see Debbie Buese. She was off work today. As it happened, she was getting ready for a family dinner tonight. Her sister, Becky, has decided to go into hospice. Becky has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), and while she still jokes - heck, she's Debbie's sister, isn't she? - she's been suffering a lot. Debbie was just so fragile today, and has been questioning why God has heaped all this tragedy on her family. Sounds a lot like the Book of Job, doesn't it?
Just to top things off, she talked about Tom's sister, Fran, who died of an unexpected heart attack a few months back in Hawaii. Fran's boyfriend had invited a friend to stay with him this last week while she visited her daughter, who was having a baby. Well, to make a long story short, there was a house fire, the friend was killed and Fran's boyfriend was left with critical burns over his body. Debbie could only laugh. Of course, it was an ironic laugh.
I hugged her tight. We all look to God for help; we hope there is life beyond and we continue to believe. I told her we'd pray and she could take it as she wants. The Buddhists in Taiwan used to kind of gather all religions - Christian, Hindu, you name it - and pray - just in case one of them had it right.
I can't imagine that God treats us like his puppets and metes out joy or sadness. But really, God, what's this all about?
I'm sorry for the losses at your school and around you. Just know that I love you, and I've left you in God's arms.
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