Well so close to coming back home. Less than two weeks. I look forward to seeing you guys. We should go see Harry Potter during that week too. Looking forward to going to Notre Dame this week and I will keep you updated.
Had a little breakdown yesterday as I really started to analyze this semester. I mean when it comes down to it, this semester hasn't been the best and I think something needs to change. I'm not sure if its been the lack of stuff to do and as a result me getting bored. In terms of classes they have required significantly less studying time for me to do good in the classes, leaving me to feel bored and unfulfilled.
Now I would like to think its just a matter of time for these things to play out and the hard work I put in for the past year to pay off, but it hasn't seemed so this semester. I take News Reporting next semester and that requires lots of time out of class. Something I'm looking forward to. I've also kept telling myself, you know I need to get involved with the student paper. But I haven't done that, which falls on me. I am going to talk to my Spanish partner who works for the paper and ask him how I can get started, maybe get something done before the semester is over, but at least be able to start at the beginning of spring semester.
This past week I ran into a girl from my English Lit class last semester. We talked for a bit about things like the J-school and the school in general. Her, another out-of-state student from Mobile, mentioned how she hasn't really found where she fits in yet. I understand how she feels. I can't put a finger on it, but that is how it feels and I need to figure out a way to change this. I think it has a lot to do with the atmosphere in general on campus.
I know you always worry about me. I simply wanted to let you know some things that were going through my mind right now. I'm going to work on changing some things. I suppose its all part of the process in finding out what works and what doesn't. There are also plenty of positives as I was recently elected to an Exec Board position in the Fraternity and piano is going well. Love you and looking forward to Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Fall Just Keeps Falling
We hear you've had a lot of rain back there. I think there were even floods. Yikes. We've been lucky here and it has been just spectacular. We haven't gone up the canyons, though, to see the leaves. It's just perfect porch-sitting weather. Ask the dogs.
I'm taking Sheri, her son and his girlfriend to the game tomorrow. I was going to take Bill and his nephews, but - you guessed it - Bill got sick. You know how he is - always dying, but not enough to give up Carl's Junior. Dad will be here in front of the TV, and waiting for your texts. He's decided to try using a pencil with an eraser to text, since he's just convinced that his fingers are too big for the iPhone. ;-)
I went to my hypnotist last week, just about the time you wrote about feeling nostalgic for the family. He had me under and just weeping over thoughts of my lost brother, my mom and dad, and all they suffered through. He got me to thinking about survivor's guilt - you know, how you somehow feel you should have been the one.
I've been thinking about that all this week, and while we do suffer by loving each other so much, it's really a good kind of suffering. Why would we want to feel nothing? And I don't think that my suffering would have prevented theirs. They all had many more times of joy and happiness to remember.
I love to think back on the fun times we've had, but I also like to think of what's coming. You're learning so much, and both Dad and I hope you're enjoying every minute of it. I'm sure we'll learn a lot from you, too.
Did I tell you about the latest with my renter? It's kind of like God has a weird sense of humor or something. I asked him what his girlfriend's name is, for the lease, and he said, Maile Kali. OMG. That is Jan Clemmer's granddaughter - the one who ran against Heather in the last election! Stunned as I was, I haven't given anything away. Mum's the word. I'm certainly not tagging her on this post, either.
Love you! Study well and have fun.
I'm taking Sheri, her son and his girlfriend to the game tomorrow. I was going to take Bill and his nephews, but - you guessed it - Bill got sick. You know how he is - always dying, but not enough to give up Carl's Junior. Dad will be here in front of the TV, and waiting for your texts. He's decided to try using a pencil with an eraser to text, since he's just convinced that his fingers are too big for the iPhone. ;-)
I went to my hypnotist last week, just about the time you wrote about feeling nostalgic for the family. He had me under and just weeping over thoughts of my lost brother, my mom and dad, and all they suffered through. He got me to thinking about survivor's guilt - you know, how you somehow feel you should have been the one.
I've been thinking about that all this week, and while we do suffer by loving each other so much, it's really a good kind of suffering. Why would we want to feel nothing? And I don't think that my suffering would have prevented theirs. They all had many more times of joy and happiness to remember.
I love to think back on the fun times we've had, but I also like to think of what's coming. You're learning so much, and both Dad and I hope you're enjoying every minute of it. I'm sure we'll learn a lot from you, too.
Did I tell you about the latest with my renter? It's kind of like God has a weird sense of humor or something. I asked him what his girlfriend's name is, for the lease, and he said, Maile Kali. OMG. That is Jan Clemmer's granddaughter - the one who ran against Heather in the last election! Stunned as I was, I haven't given anything away. Mum's the word. I'm certainly not tagging her on this post, either.
Love you! Study well and have fun.
Almost Fall?
Today is the first day where it is really looking and feeling like fall. Well I guess it is officially fall anyways. For some reason I always get in more reflective moods during the fall. I guess it has something to do with the changing of the weather and changing colors of leaves that eventually fall off. Probably one reason I blogged more during the fall last year than in Spring earlier this year. Its just something about the weather changes and many memories from fall in the past that make it seem more reflective (school and football, little league and the college games).
Had a more successful Spanish test today. Well at least I felt more prepared and confident about the test. It has been quite a long week with three tests. Also have a test on Monday. But now looking forward to the weekend and the game tomorrow. Are you going to the game tomorrow? Should be a blowout, knock on wood.
The first month of the school never really feels like school to me. For one, its too warm and still feels like summer. Its not until it gets a little colder that it feels like school is in session and everyone really buckles down on studying. That's what this week has started to feel like.
I am off to take a nap after studying late last night for spanish then going to a 7am review session for music history (I never understand why she does those sooo early) Anyways, take care and I'll talk to you guys this weekend.
Had a more successful Spanish test today. Well at least I felt more prepared and confident about the test. It has been quite a long week with three tests. Also have a test on Monday. But now looking forward to the weekend and the game tomorrow. Are you going to the game tomorrow? Should be a blowout, knock on wood.
The first month of the school never really feels like school to me. For one, its too warm and still feels like summer. Its not until it gets a little colder that it feels like school is in session and everyone really buckles down on studying. That's what this week has started to feel like.
I am off to take a nap after studying late last night for spanish then going to a 7am review session for music history (I never understand why she does those sooo early) Anyways, take care and I'll talk to you guys this weekend.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Together in independence
Raym - You have no idea how proud of you we are, and of course, how much we miss you. In some ways, reading this sent me back to my own first years away from home.
Our culture is indeed focused on independence, but in many ways, a kind of negative independence that separates us from those we love. I agree with you that the more collective family models from other countries seem healthier. I suppose our challenge in the United States is to figure out how to marry the two concepts so that we can achieve independence in a way that fosters our creativity and nurtures who we are, but also to hold on to those we love and make them part of our daily lives.
We are a very close family. It was the same with me and my mom and dad and brother. Partly because of that, I felt that I should break away from them. I think now that it was so I wouldn't feel the aching loss of them.
My parents, and especially my mother, never wanted to make me feel obligated to them, and wanted to give me full rein to grow. But by not speaking about how much she missed me, we actually lost a great deal of time together, and many opportunities to talk about things we felt deeply.
I have to say that's my only regret about my family.
I guess this is a balancing act that we're all doing right now. Your dad and I have no intention of letting you slip away from us, although we know that you are building your own life, too.
It was ultimately my brother's death that brought me back to Utah, but in many ways, that was an excuse. I can tell you that I have always looked for ways to return and felt a magnetism to this place we call home.
I want us to do as many things together as a family as possible, and yet I don't want to spoil opportunities for you along the way. I do think we can do both.
And ultimately it's true: home is where the heart is. You know how Debbie is, always wanting to move to Maine to be with her daughter and family there. Well, that could be us, too.
In the meantime, let's not worry too much about how to carve out the future. I do believe that we are often led to where we should go by both God and by our innate talents.
You have both of those things on your side. We love you.
Our culture is indeed focused on independence, but in many ways, a kind of negative independence that separates us from those we love. I agree with you that the more collective family models from other countries seem healthier. I suppose our challenge in the United States is to figure out how to marry the two concepts so that we can achieve independence in a way that fosters our creativity and nurtures who we are, but also to hold on to those we love and make them part of our daily lives.
We are a very close family. It was the same with me and my mom and dad and brother. Partly because of that, I felt that I should break away from them. I think now that it was so I wouldn't feel the aching loss of them.
My parents, and especially my mother, never wanted to make me feel obligated to them, and wanted to give me full rein to grow. But by not speaking about how much she missed me, we actually lost a great deal of time together, and many opportunities to talk about things we felt deeply.
I have to say that's my only regret about my family.
I guess this is a balancing act that we're all doing right now. Your dad and I have no intention of letting you slip away from us, although we know that you are building your own life, too.
It was ultimately my brother's death that brought me back to Utah, but in many ways, that was an excuse. I can tell you that I have always looked for ways to return and felt a magnetism to this place we call home.
I want us to do as many things together as a family as possible, and yet I don't want to spoil opportunities for you along the way. I do think we can do both.
And ultimately it's true: home is where the heart is. You know how Debbie is, always wanting to move to Maine to be with her daughter and family there. Well, that could be us, too.
In the meantime, let's not worry too much about how to carve out the future. I do believe that we are often led to where we should go by both God and by our innate talents.
You have both of those things on your side. We love you.
How much could possibly happen in one year?
Well it is nice to be back to blogging for a bit as I feel its a good way to discuss what's going on when we don't think of things over video. First off, I miss you two very much. As I look back on the summer I'm not sure what to think. Yes it was summer, but it didn't quite feel like it going to school and working. I guess I'm having trouble processing it all. Mainly because I think it was a time where I grew more individually than I ever have before. What troubles me about this is that I feel I grew farther apart from you two.
Being the only child I feel extremely close to Mom and Dad. It is part of this culture to grow up and become independent and go on to raise your own family, but there are many times where I wish it was a little more collectivist as in some foreign countries. Where the children grow up to support the family as a whole. The children don't live far away from the central family. This is what gets me, I was back at home, but felt very overwhelmed with school and work. Instead, I would've liked to spend more time at home.
As I reflect on the past year as a whole one word comes to mind. "Woah." The fall semester last year was full of new experiences and a foreign territory. Roommate was friends with someone who has now flunked out of school, but now is close friends with me and can live with each other relatively easily. I appreciate the close friends I have made here and would never have expected it to turn out like this. I can't believe this has all happened in just 1 year. That's the hard part. To think about being just over 1 year removed from High School and now having all this adult like responsibility. That's the other tough part to grasp, how to live comfortably in a new environment.
Living in the apartment is a bit hectic at times. Well I could have expected that I suppose. But I go to the library when I really need to study. I want to keep grades up while at the same time juggling this new social life. I'm one who needs my space after awhile and I try to step back for about a week at a time. Some people don't understand and they want to hang out all the time. I guess they need to always be around someone, but I prefer to have a decent amount of alone time.
Having said all that, I love you both and miss home. The animals too
Being the only child I feel extremely close to Mom and Dad. It is part of this culture to grow up and become independent and go on to raise your own family, but there are many times where I wish it was a little more collectivist as in some foreign countries. Where the children grow up to support the family as a whole. The children don't live far away from the central family. This is what gets me, I was back at home, but felt very overwhelmed with school and work. Instead, I would've liked to spend more time at home.
As I reflect on the past year as a whole one word comes to mind. "Woah." The fall semester last year was full of new experiences and a foreign territory. Roommate was friends with someone who has now flunked out of school, but now is close friends with me and can live with each other relatively easily. I appreciate the close friends I have made here and would never have expected it to turn out like this. I can't believe this has all happened in just 1 year. That's the hard part. To think about being just over 1 year removed from High School and now having all this adult like responsibility. That's the other tough part to grasp, how to live comfortably in a new environment.
Living in the apartment is a bit hectic at times. Well I could have expected that I suppose. But I go to the library when I really need to study. I want to keep grades up while at the same time juggling this new social life. I'm one who needs my space after awhile and I try to step back for about a week at a time. Some people don't understand and they want to hang out all the time. I guess they need to always be around someone, but I prefer to have a decent amount of alone time.
Having said all that, I love you both and miss home. The animals too
Monday, April 26, 2010
Finding Home
I ran into Say Eow the other day at Whole Foods. He was waiting for a friend who'd come in from another state, but apparently was too shy to hang out anywhere but Whole Foods. They had nothing fun planned, and I could tell Say Eow was wishing he was with another friend.
Anyway, he said, sorry Mom, he was the one who "pushed" you away from home. I nodded, but of course, I believe you made the decision to go off to college yourself. And I never, never think of this as being "away" in any permanent sense of the word. You're on a journey, and journeys take you different places. However, you always have a place to come home to.
He also said something about your telling him you couldn't study with him any more. I'm not sure I really understood what he was saying along those lines, so you can explain - later.
Meanwhile, Daddy has been a little pensive because he's heard that his brother, Buddy, is not doing well at all. We've been talking about this, and he finally decided that it's time to go see Buddy. Buddy, I guess, can't communicate well, but he does understand what people say and he did tell Rosemary that he'd like to see his brother.
So, Dad is heading out on May 5 and coming back on the 9th. Just before I leave to drive back with you! It's all exceptional timing, I think.
It's important to go home once in a while. In Dad's case, his home in Birmingham isn't the home of place, but rather the home of family. He may not have another chance to see his brother, so I'm glad that he's agreed to go. I think he'll see Kent, too. He's hoping Nancy won't know he's there. ;-)
But I think this will be a lot like your trip to Birmingham for Kent's wedding. Nice, important to go and be with family. But ultimately, you want to come back to the home of your heart - and that is with us.
We love you, and we're looking forward to the few summer months you'll be with us.
Anyway, he said, sorry Mom, he was the one who "pushed" you away from home. I nodded, but of course, I believe you made the decision to go off to college yourself. And I never, never think of this as being "away" in any permanent sense of the word. You're on a journey, and journeys take you different places. However, you always have a place to come home to.
He also said something about your telling him you couldn't study with him any more. I'm not sure I really understood what he was saying along those lines, so you can explain - later.
Meanwhile, Daddy has been a little pensive because he's heard that his brother, Buddy, is not doing well at all. We've been talking about this, and he finally decided that it's time to go see Buddy. Buddy, I guess, can't communicate well, but he does understand what people say and he did tell Rosemary that he'd like to see his brother.
So, Dad is heading out on May 5 and coming back on the 9th. Just before I leave to drive back with you! It's all exceptional timing, I think.
It's important to go home once in a while. In Dad's case, his home in Birmingham isn't the home of place, but rather the home of family. He may not have another chance to see his brother, so I'm glad that he's agreed to go. I think he'll see Kent, too. He's hoping Nancy won't know he's there. ;-)
But I think this will be a lot like your trip to Birmingham for Kent's wedding. Nice, important to go and be with family. But ultimately, you want to come back to the home of your heart - and that is with us.
We love you, and we're looking forward to the few summer months you'll be with us.
Monday, February 8, 2010
I got your package today. Lots and lots of candy. Either you're worried about me not eating enough, or trying to get rid of all that holiday candy. Thank you
I've been settling into the study, practice, study, workout routine. This semester is much busier than last. On MWF I am at class from 8-3 with about 2 hours worth of free time inbetween which I just go to the library and do homework in that time. Then practice everyday from 4-6. After that, head back to my room and rest for maybe a half hour at the most then go eat dinner ha. After, get some more studying in then go to the gym from about 9:30-11. Shower, then get in bed by 12ish. That's about how everyday goes. Busy, busy, but it does keep my mind occupied unlike last semester when I had a lot of down time.
Last Thursday I went to a lecture on the influence of American Indian symbols/mascots in sports. A Native American professor from Portland State talked and it was a very intriguing presentation. I was aware of the situation before, but hearing him speak and give the presentation, the words and mascots used now seem a lot more offensive. (i.e. Redskin) Now I wouldn't mind so much if teams changed their names. The Utes for instance. 5 years ago I thought, "How could you change the name. That has been there forever." But now I feel a bit differently about it.
I enjoy the english lit class. We've been reading the usual stuff I'm sure you know. Chaucer, Beowulf, etc. We watch the Daily Sho quite frequently in the journalism class. Mainly because they do a good job criticizing what the media does. I just find it so intriguing and there's so much you can do with the journalism field. Just get freshman year out of the way as fast as possible. Then I can really get into it. I can start convergence this time next year and then possibly study abroad junior year. We'll see, its so far away right now.
Supposed to snow 4 inches tonight. But its not Utah snow by any means. So I'd rather not have 4 inches. Hope the play was fun.
I've been settling into the study, practice, study, workout routine. This semester is much busier than last. On MWF I am at class from 8-3 with about 2 hours worth of free time inbetween which I just go to the library and do homework in that time. Then practice everyday from 4-6. After that, head back to my room and rest for maybe a half hour at the most then go eat dinner ha. After, get some more studying in then go to the gym from about 9:30-11. Shower, then get in bed by 12ish. That's about how everyday goes. Busy, busy, but it does keep my mind occupied unlike last semester when I had a lot of down time.
Last Thursday I went to a lecture on the influence of American Indian symbols/mascots in sports. A Native American professor from Portland State talked and it was a very intriguing presentation. I was aware of the situation before, but hearing him speak and give the presentation, the words and mascots used now seem a lot more offensive. (i.e. Redskin) Now I wouldn't mind so much if teams changed their names. The Utes for instance. 5 years ago I thought, "How could you change the name. That has been there forever." But now I feel a bit differently about it.
I enjoy the english lit class. We've been reading the usual stuff I'm sure you know. Chaucer, Beowulf, etc. We watch the Daily Sho quite frequently in the journalism class. Mainly because they do a good job criticizing what the media does. I just find it so intriguing and there's so much you can do with the journalism field. Just get freshman year out of the way as fast as possible. Then I can really get into it. I can start convergence this time next year and then possibly study abroad junior year. We'll see, its so far away right now.
Supposed to snow 4 inches tonight. But its not Utah snow by any means. So I'd rather not have 4 inches. Hope the play was fun.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
We need to laugh more
I've been thinking about you all week and how time moves so quickly. That's both good and bad. It means we see each other soon, but it also means that you grow into your own life so fast it's almost a blur.
Since Dad's birthday's coming up, I got us tickets to see Bill Cosby. I think we all need to laugh more. A lot more! If time speeds up as we get older, then there's no sense spending it being miserable. I think it will be fun.
This week, I haven't had much fun with church business. Susan F. is really quite a negative person, and she's been micromanaging everything. You can't do this; you can't do that. Why did I do XYZ without asking the Vestry? She was making me a psychological mess, until I realized that only I can mess myself up psychologically. She's very temporary, and all this will pass.
I heard on NPR today about an interesting book you might want to get. It's about Ayn Rand - Jennifer Burns (“Goddess of the Market: Ayn Rand and the American Right”)- and how conservatives are so threatened by her writing. I don't remember if you've read any of Rand's stuff - Atlas Shrugged or the Fountainhead - but they are potentially life-changing books. Not for the conservative right, I guess.
Sent you off a package today, so check for it. (in the next several months?)
Love you.
Since Dad's birthday's coming up, I got us tickets to see Bill Cosby. I think we all need to laugh more. A lot more! If time speeds up as we get older, then there's no sense spending it being miserable. I think it will be fun.
This week, I haven't had much fun with church business. Susan F. is really quite a negative person, and she's been micromanaging everything. You can't do this; you can't do that. Why did I do XYZ without asking the Vestry? She was making me a psychological mess, until I realized that only I can mess myself up psychologically. She's very temporary, and all this will pass.
I heard on NPR today about an interesting book you might want to get. It's about Ayn Rand - Jennifer Burns (“Goddess of the Market: Ayn Rand and the American Right”)- and how conservatives are so threatened by her writing. I don't remember if you've read any of Rand's stuff - Atlas Shrugged or the Fountainhead - but they are potentially life-changing books. Not for the conservative right, I guess.
Sent you off a package today, so check for it. (in the next several months?)
Love you.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
New Year
Well I guess should blog a little bit too since I can see I've been falling behind. I really enjoy talking to you and Dad every week because I miss home so much still. I have been feeling more comfortable here but there's still the part of me that wants to be close to home. I am slowly learning how to live this new part of my life, being away from home and being out in the world and all. At times its pretty scary to think about and then I remind myself to just take it one day at a time. What gets to me most about living here is knowing how much you and Dad miss me. I guess that's just the part of me that cares so much about what others think and how I am so appreciative for you two.
I've been torn between two sides these past few weeks in figuring out what to do. There are days when I want to come back to the U and then there are days (especially) when I'm in the journalism classes that I really want to stay and pursue journalism. I can tell I have an enormous interest in Journalism (Not sure on what part of journalism though) but I am so intrigued when I'm in the class that I just want to do more and more. There is also the piano. I am also thinking about where to go in piano. If I stay here, I would prefer to concentrate on journalism and really excel there. I would stick this semester out with the piano. One aspect that has kept me still with the piano is that I think sometimes I will never pay attention to that kind of music if I don't play. But I understand you can still be an avid fan even if you don't have some fancy degree. I can tell this is a time of significant change for me and a vastly different environment and I'm not sure how to handle it. It is much different than high school, but I'm sure these are things all young adults go through.
Of course, none of these things I've been thinking about have been set in stone but I figured you would be interested in what's going through my mind nowadays. I hope this helps and I will start blogging more frequently now since I'm back to school.
Love You
I've been torn between two sides these past few weeks in figuring out what to do. There are days when I want to come back to the U and then there are days (especially) when I'm in the journalism classes that I really want to stay and pursue journalism. I can tell I have an enormous interest in Journalism (Not sure on what part of journalism though) but I am so intrigued when I'm in the class that I just want to do more and more. There is also the piano. I am also thinking about where to go in piano. If I stay here, I would prefer to concentrate on journalism and really excel there. I would stick this semester out with the piano. One aspect that has kept me still with the piano is that I think sometimes I will never pay attention to that kind of music if I don't play. But I understand you can still be an avid fan even if you don't have some fancy degree. I can tell this is a time of significant change for me and a vastly different environment and I'm not sure how to handle it. It is much different than high school, but I'm sure these are things all young adults go through.
Of course, none of these things I've been thinking about have been set in stone but I figured you would be interested in what's going through my mind nowadays. I hope this helps and I will start blogging more frequently now since I'm back to school.
Love You
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Speaking of death
This has been a strange month, what with it being the first month of the new decade and all. I'm still trying to put an end to organizing, although organizing kind of makes me feel, well, organized. Like, I can find things again. I resist a little, though, because a lot of people who do this kind of organizing do it just before they die. I don't plan to do that soon.
Lori's worried about Kev again. He wants to move out (even though he's due to deploy this summer). He's been selling his plasma, and she worries, of course, that he's selling other things. I just pray that Kevin can hang on to some future vision before he ruins his life.
So, speaking of death, there have been two this month. Debbie B's sister, Becky, passed after suffering through ALS. That kind of dying is both beautiful and difficult. The beauty comes from the fact that everyone - including Becky - can prepare. They can celebrate birthdays, share memories and take joy in the simple things, like a sunrise. The hard part, of course, is the suffering for both her and the family that follows her to the end of her life. Debbie cried, but she also looked as though a great burden had been lifted. Becky is at peace now.
Less than a week later, I got a call saying that Di had died. Just like that. Very differently than Becky. She thought she just had a pulled muscle or nerve in her back. For months, she had been doing physical therapy. Then suddenly, she couldn't get out of bed. Her family took her to a nursing home and overnight, she died. Turns out, she had undiagnosed lung cancer that had metasticized to her brain. She'd also had several small strokes.
While it was a shock - some people, you think, will live forever - I also thought it was exactly how she would want to go. You know Di. And for sure, she couldn't tolerate anyone lingering.
Everyone in the Howze house is fine. It's a little empty, but it seems worse because it's been so cold. And the air has been had again. Ugh. We're looking foward to San Francisco. Just tell me what we should bring for you.
Lori's worried about Kev again. He wants to move out (even though he's due to deploy this summer). He's been selling his plasma, and she worries, of course, that he's selling other things. I just pray that Kevin can hang on to some future vision before he ruins his life.
So, speaking of death, there have been two this month. Debbie B's sister, Becky, passed after suffering through ALS. That kind of dying is both beautiful and difficult. The beauty comes from the fact that everyone - including Becky - can prepare. They can celebrate birthdays, share memories and take joy in the simple things, like a sunrise. The hard part, of course, is the suffering for both her and the family that follows her to the end of her life. Debbie cried, but she also looked as though a great burden had been lifted. Becky is at peace now.
Less than a week later, I got a call saying that Di had died. Just like that. Very differently than Becky. She thought she just had a pulled muscle or nerve in her back. For months, she had been doing physical therapy. Then suddenly, she couldn't get out of bed. Her family took her to a nursing home and overnight, she died. Turns out, she had undiagnosed lung cancer that had metasticized to her brain. She'd also had several small strokes.
While it was a shock - some people, you think, will live forever - I also thought it was exactly how she would want to go. You know Di. And for sure, she couldn't tolerate anyone lingering.
Everyone in the Howze house is fine. It's a little empty, but it seems worse because it's been so cold. And the air has been had again. Ugh. We're looking foward to San Francisco. Just tell me what we should bring for you.
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