We hear you've had a lot of rain back there. I think there were even floods. Yikes. We've been lucky here and it has been just spectacular. We haven't gone up the canyons, though, to see the leaves. It's just perfect porch-sitting weather. Ask the dogs.
I'm taking Sheri, her son and his girlfriend to the game tomorrow. I was going to take Bill and his nephews, but - you guessed it - Bill got sick. You know how he is - always dying, but not enough to give up Carl's Junior. Dad will be here in front of the TV, and waiting for your texts. He's decided to try using a pencil with an eraser to text, since he's just convinced that his fingers are too big for the iPhone. ;-)
I went to my hypnotist last week, just about the time you wrote about feeling nostalgic for the family. He had me under and just weeping over thoughts of my lost brother, my mom and dad, and all they suffered through. He got me to thinking about survivor's guilt - you know, how you somehow feel you should have been the one.
I've been thinking about that all this week, and while we do suffer by loving each other so much, it's really a good kind of suffering. Why would we want to feel nothing? And I don't think that my suffering would have prevented theirs. They all had many more times of joy and happiness to remember.
I love to think back on the fun times we've had, but I also like to think of what's coming. You're learning so much, and both Dad and I hope you're enjoying every minute of it. I'm sure we'll learn a lot from you, too.
Did I tell you about the latest with my renter? It's kind of like God has a weird sense of humor or something. I asked him what his girlfriend's name is, for the lease, and he said, Maile Kali. OMG. That is Jan Clemmer's granddaughter - the one who ran against Heather in the last election! Stunned as I was, I haven't given anything away. Mum's the word. I'm certainly not tagging her on this post, either.
Love you! Study well and have fun.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Almost Fall?
Today is the first day where it is really looking and feeling like fall. Well I guess it is officially fall anyways. For some reason I always get in more reflective moods during the fall. I guess it has something to do with the changing of the weather and changing colors of leaves that eventually fall off. Probably one reason I blogged more during the fall last year than in Spring earlier this year. Its just something about the weather changes and many memories from fall in the past that make it seem more reflective (school and football, little league and the college games).
Had a more successful Spanish test today. Well at least I felt more prepared and confident about the test. It has been quite a long week with three tests. Also have a test on Monday. But now looking forward to the weekend and the game tomorrow. Are you going to the game tomorrow? Should be a blowout, knock on wood.
The first month of the school never really feels like school to me. For one, its too warm and still feels like summer. Its not until it gets a little colder that it feels like school is in session and everyone really buckles down on studying. That's what this week has started to feel like.
I am off to take a nap after studying late last night for spanish then going to a 7am review session for music history (I never understand why she does those sooo early) Anyways, take care and I'll talk to you guys this weekend.
Had a more successful Spanish test today. Well at least I felt more prepared and confident about the test. It has been quite a long week with three tests. Also have a test on Monday. But now looking forward to the weekend and the game tomorrow. Are you going to the game tomorrow? Should be a blowout, knock on wood.
The first month of the school never really feels like school to me. For one, its too warm and still feels like summer. Its not until it gets a little colder that it feels like school is in session and everyone really buckles down on studying. That's what this week has started to feel like.
I am off to take a nap after studying late last night for spanish then going to a 7am review session for music history (I never understand why she does those sooo early) Anyways, take care and I'll talk to you guys this weekend.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Together in independence
Raym - You have no idea how proud of you we are, and of course, how much we miss you. In some ways, reading this sent me back to my own first years away from home.
Our culture is indeed focused on independence, but in many ways, a kind of negative independence that separates us from those we love. I agree with you that the more collective family models from other countries seem healthier. I suppose our challenge in the United States is to figure out how to marry the two concepts so that we can achieve independence in a way that fosters our creativity and nurtures who we are, but also to hold on to those we love and make them part of our daily lives.
We are a very close family. It was the same with me and my mom and dad and brother. Partly because of that, I felt that I should break away from them. I think now that it was so I wouldn't feel the aching loss of them.
My parents, and especially my mother, never wanted to make me feel obligated to them, and wanted to give me full rein to grow. But by not speaking about how much she missed me, we actually lost a great deal of time together, and many opportunities to talk about things we felt deeply.
I have to say that's my only regret about my family.
I guess this is a balancing act that we're all doing right now. Your dad and I have no intention of letting you slip away from us, although we know that you are building your own life, too.
It was ultimately my brother's death that brought me back to Utah, but in many ways, that was an excuse. I can tell you that I have always looked for ways to return and felt a magnetism to this place we call home.
I want us to do as many things together as a family as possible, and yet I don't want to spoil opportunities for you along the way. I do think we can do both.
And ultimately it's true: home is where the heart is. You know how Debbie is, always wanting to move to Maine to be with her daughter and family there. Well, that could be us, too.
In the meantime, let's not worry too much about how to carve out the future. I do believe that we are often led to where we should go by both God and by our innate talents.
You have both of those things on your side. We love you.
Our culture is indeed focused on independence, but in many ways, a kind of negative independence that separates us from those we love. I agree with you that the more collective family models from other countries seem healthier. I suppose our challenge in the United States is to figure out how to marry the two concepts so that we can achieve independence in a way that fosters our creativity and nurtures who we are, but also to hold on to those we love and make them part of our daily lives.
We are a very close family. It was the same with me and my mom and dad and brother. Partly because of that, I felt that I should break away from them. I think now that it was so I wouldn't feel the aching loss of them.
My parents, and especially my mother, never wanted to make me feel obligated to them, and wanted to give me full rein to grow. But by not speaking about how much she missed me, we actually lost a great deal of time together, and many opportunities to talk about things we felt deeply.
I have to say that's my only regret about my family.
I guess this is a balancing act that we're all doing right now. Your dad and I have no intention of letting you slip away from us, although we know that you are building your own life, too.
It was ultimately my brother's death that brought me back to Utah, but in many ways, that was an excuse. I can tell you that I have always looked for ways to return and felt a magnetism to this place we call home.
I want us to do as many things together as a family as possible, and yet I don't want to spoil opportunities for you along the way. I do think we can do both.
And ultimately it's true: home is where the heart is. You know how Debbie is, always wanting to move to Maine to be with her daughter and family there. Well, that could be us, too.
In the meantime, let's not worry too much about how to carve out the future. I do believe that we are often led to where we should go by both God and by our innate talents.
You have both of those things on your side. We love you.
How much could possibly happen in one year?
Well it is nice to be back to blogging for a bit as I feel its a good way to discuss what's going on when we don't think of things over video. First off, I miss you two very much. As I look back on the summer I'm not sure what to think. Yes it was summer, but it didn't quite feel like it going to school and working. I guess I'm having trouble processing it all. Mainly because I think it was a time where I grew more individually than I ever have before. What troubles me about this is that I feel I grew farther apart from you two.
Being the only child I feel extremely close to Mom and Dad. It is part of this culture to grow up and become independent and go on to raise your own family, but there are many times where I wish it was a little more collectivist as in some foreign countries. Where the children grow up to support the family as a whole. The children don't live far away from the central family. This is what gets me, I was back at home, but felt very overwhelmed with school and work. Instead, I would've liked to spend more time at home.
As I reflect on the past year as a whole one word comes to mind. "Woah." The fall semester last year was full of new experiences and a foreign territory. Roommate was friends with someone who has now flunked out of school, but now is close friends with me and can live with each other relatively easily. I appreciate the close friends I have made here and would never have expected it to turn out like this. I can't believe this has all happened in just 1 year. That's the hard part. To think about being just over 1 year removed from High School and now having all this adult like responsibility. That's the other tough part to grasp, how to live comfortably in a new environment.
Living in the apartment is a bit hectic at times. Well I could have expected that I suppose. But I go to the library when I really need to study. I want to keep grades up while at the same time juggling this new social life. I'm one who needs my space after awhile and I try to step back for about a week at a time. Some people don't understand and they want to hang out all the time. I guess they need to always be around someone, but I prefer to have a decent amount of alone time.
Having said all that, I love you both and miss home. The animals too
Being the only child I feel extremely close to Mom and Dad. It is part of this culture to grow up and become independent and go on to raise your own family, but there are many times where I wish it was a little more collectivist as in some foreign countries. Where the children grow up to support the family as a whole. The children don't live far away from the central family. This is what gets me, I was back at home, but felt very overwhelmed with school and work. Instead, I would've liked to spend more time at home.
As I reflect on the past year as a whole one word comes to mind. "Woah." The fall semester last year was full of new experiences and a foreign territory. Roommate was friends with someone who has now flunked out of school, but now is close friends with me and can live with each other relatively easily. I appreciate the close friends I have made here and would never have expected it to turn out like this. I can't believe this has all happened in just 1 year. That's the hard part. To think about being just over 1 year removed from High School and now having all this adult like responsibility. That's the other tough part to grasp, how to live comfortably in a new environment.
Living in the apartment is a bit hectic at times. Well I could have expected that I suppose. But I go to the library when I really need to study. I want to keep grades up while at the same time juggling this new social life. I'm one who needs my space after awhile and I try to step back for about a week at a time. Some people don't understand and they want to hang out all the time. I guess they need to always be around someone, but I prefer to have a decent amount of alone time.
Having said all that, I love you both and miss home. The animals too
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